The Planet Blog

The word on the street is that the economy isn’t too hot right now, so I thought it would be prudent to jot down a few unhelpful helpful ideas for weathering this rumored storm. Many business consultants would charge you hundreds of thousands of dollars for these tips, but I’m going to provide them to you free of charge.

1. Actually Recycling Documents

Conserve your bits. Don’t move old documents on your computer to the “Recycle Bin.” Open them and delete the old content so you can use the same file when you need to create a new document. You’ll actually be recycling the file.

2. Save Your Syllables

Use acronyms and abbreviations where possible. I mean “Use acs and abbs whr psbl.” Every second you spare in writing or speaking a full word could be more efficiently used in other pursuits.

Caveat: If you abbreviate too much, you end up having to take more time to explain what you were abbreviating … ultimately wasting time. This tip requires precise execution.

3. Working with “Figures”

Include the decimal places when you’re talking about revenue “figures.” $1,000.00 is “six-figures.” The amount of money doesn’t actually change, but your perception of it might.

It’s important to remember to constrain this rule to discussion of revenue or income rather than expenses … it’s a little disheartening to spend “four-figures” on a $10 lunch.

4. No Wasted Time on the Phone

When you make a call, as soon as you finish dialing the number, begin speaking to the person on the other end of the phone. They may not pick up until three rings later, but by the time they connect, you’ll already be well on your way with the conversation … they’ll catch up.

5. Use the Most Cost-Effective Font

Times New Roman. Everywhere. Exclusively.

“Times is money.”

6. Never Use the “Google Search” Button

You may have heard the old saying, “It’s better to be lucky than good.”

Take that to heart.

Use the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button if you search from Google’s homepage.

7. Valentine’s Day Gift Giving

Be economical when you’re showing your Valentine you care. Macaroni art has its own quiet charm. If you were wondering, Ramen Noodle is not as charming … I’ve learned that the hard way.

Note: This rule applies differently if you’re buying a server from The Planet for Valentine’s Day — Buying the most expensive server is stimulating the economy, thus it is economical.

What unhelpful helpful tips would you recommend to folks who are hunkering down?

-Kevin

*Bonus Tips*

Hyper-Critical Shopping
Relax by visiting high-end stores where you once aspired to make purchases and discover that the merchandise is all over-priced, poorly designed, and unnecessary.

Submitted by Theresa Quintanilla

Launch Something New
Launch a website before you have a design or content for it. (Ed note: That design/content stuff is way overrated … It’s a very helpful unhelpful tip.)

Submitted by teddarling